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Mystery at Buckhorn Inn

Mystery at Buckhorn Inn

A who dunnit comedic mystery based on some true events taking place at this piece of paradise in the enchanted Smoky Mountains of Tennessee. 

by Buckhorn Inn Guest Isabel Hauger

2024

Dedicated to all the Buckhorn Inn staff members who have always made sure we have the most memorable time when we visit the Inn. 

 

My name is Manfred Hitchcocke, Fred for short.  My wife, Joanna, and I have been roaming guests at the Buckhorn Inn, in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, since 1978.  Every day and every night we roam around.  It’s been a while and, even though you can’t see us, we haven’t aged at all.  Perhaps it’s because the weather is colder and fresher in the mountains, along with the beauty of the views that we have kept our youthful looks or, most likely, it’s because we are ghosts.  Friendly ones, of course.

We came here for the first time in February of 1942 and from the very moment we arrived to this place, it became our favorite spot in the world.  We kept coming here every year for our wedding anniversary and any other special occasion when we wanted to celebrate.  1943 was the only year we couldn’t make it.  Our first child was born in January and as first time parents, we were afraid of leaving the baby with other people.  After our second child was born, we decided to go to the Buckhorn, not only to celebrate our anniversary, but also to have some time off… just us, no children in sight.  Joanna’s parents would take care of the children for a couple of days so we could have a little retreat in the mountains.

We loved this place so much that Joanna once said to me:  “When I die I want to become a ghost and come and live here.”  

“That’s a fascinating idea, Hon!” I said. 

“Let’s do it, then!  When we die, we’ll come back here and be together for eternity.” 

“For eternity it is!” I replied. 

I never thought we were actually going to do it.  Eternity seemed too far away back then. However, in November 1978, Joanna and I were driving back home from a friend’s birthday party when a deer came out of nowhere and the next thing I remember was Joanna holding my hand and saying: “I love you for eternity.  I’ll meet you at the Buckhorn!”

Doctors were doing everything they could, so it took almost a week for me to join her here.  By then she was roaming the woods and smelling the flowers.  She has always loved nature and everything about it.  She loves all the plants, trees, animals and God’s creatures and even the stones she finds on her walks.  She has a special connection with nature.  That’s the reason she kept putting the idea of a labyrinth on Rachel’s mind through dreams.  The idea of a spiritual connection with nature was always very important for Joanna, as it was for Rachel.  And of course, the sight of the swans in the pond with their majestic beauty still melts her soul away.

 We have our daily routines of taking care of the guests to provide a very pleasant experience at this place and, occasionally, playing some pranks on them.  Oh, yeah! We still have lots of fun together.  It’s really cool to be a ghost.  Did I mention that we are friendly ghosts?  We loved our past lives and now we love our eternal lives because we’re still together.  And no matter how busy we are making sure the guests are having a good time, we always get together around 3:00 pm when the cookies or brownies are ready and indulge our senses.

 We might be ghosts now but there is no way we’re going to miss an opportunity to enjoy the freshly made goodies.  And in order to do so, since ghosts can’t eat, I turn into a bear and Joanna into a raccoon.  She’s the cutest raccoon you’ve ever seen.  So if you ever see her around in her raccoon form, just smile at her and she’ll smile back at you.  And when it comes to eating the sweets, we have a rule:  only one brownie or two cookies.  That’s it!  No more than that because they are for the living guests and we don’t want to get caught.  I know this rule is harder for Joanna than it is for me. 

So, since 1978 we’ve been fooling around like kids at Dollywood.  We’ve also witnessed so many memorable moments that the people coming to visit this place will treasure for their own eternity.  Some of the stories are going to remain private, but others are to be shared…like the one I’m going to narrate to you in these ghostly lines: 

January, 12, 2024, I remember the wind had been blowing very hard since the day before.  I can also tell you that the temperature was below what any pickle-ball devotee Floridian coming to visit the mountains would be happy to endure at any time of the year.  That day, I watched some old branches coming down and then some trees followed the same fate.  A couple of the trees that we’ve watched grow over the years came down almost blocking the entry way to the old Inn we’ve been taking care of for so long.  Some might say we’ve been haunting it.  I’d rather say that we’ve been taking care of it.  Otherwise, those trees would have completely blocked the road.  Don’t you agree?

As the story continues, this couple from Maryville, the Woodrows, were just turning onto the entry road when they saw the fallen trees across their path.  I saw the panic on their faces.  Mrs. Woodrow was scared of the wind blowing so hard that perhaps some other trees might come down on them.  Mr. Woodrow was afraid of getting some scratches on his always immaculate car (I’ve seen him moving the car to different spots just to make sure it won’t get struck by any fallen branches or that it is not parked too closely to other cars.  I’ve even seen him come back to his car and clean a spot he missed when cleaning the windows…Atta boy!  I used to do the same when I was alive).  The Woodrows come in to spend the night as often as they can afford it since they discovered this place last year for his 70^th birthday. 

By the way, I do remember that birthday celebration.  He was struggling turning 70 years old.  Oh yeah!  He wasn’t a happy fella.  I totally get it.  Getting old is not easy.  When I turned 50, I panicked too.  When my wife turned 50, the only presents she asked for were anti-wrinkle creams, or as she called them, “age defying” creams.  She’s always been so funny.  How can I not love her!

So that first time here, the Woodrows came, checked in, went to their room et voilà, a gate to better times opened to them.  It was like traveling in time to a place where the old furniture and decor make you feel forever young.  

She checked everything around and said, “this place is very clean, smells so good and is extremely cozy!  I love it!”

“Hey, Sweetie, come to the window and check out the view!” he said.

For a few moments they just hugged and let the view cuddle into their souls.

That day, they went for a walk down the nature path to the pond where the swans live.  There, they sat on the bench and just enjoyed being together at this piece of paradise and surrendered to its quietness.  It reminded me of the first time Joanna and I came here.  What a wonderful connection with earth! 

They came back to their room and took a nap before dinner.  They both dressed up for the special occasion and went downstairs to the dining area where their table was set by the window.  The timeless decoration and the smell of the years felt comforting and welcoming.  The food came and also the wine to celebrate.  As a surprise, Agatha, a wonderful beyond words staff member, brought a piece of cake and a “Happy Birthday” song filled the room with joy, warmth and the birthday boy’s glassy eyes shone bright.  I even remember the menu for that night:

 

Roast Prime Rib of Beef Au Jus with Horseradish Sauce              Twice-Baked  Potato and Haricot Vert                 Puree of Butternut Squash Soup                Chocolate, Orange, Hazelnut Tart

 Well, since my wife and I are ghosts, we can be everywhere without being seeing or heard.  That’s the fun part of being a ghost.  However, we never interfere or directly interact with the guests.  We just help things happen here and there.  We’re here because this is our peace of heaven. 

Mr. and Mrs. Woodrow enjoyed that first day at the Inn and knew they would be back soon.  That night, after that exceptional dinner, they went back to the same room we stayed in our first night here back in 1942 and, just like we did then, made love.  Room number three has a special ‘je ne sais quoi’ that makes you feel at home and young and…very much alive. 

I guess I’m rambling a little bit here…So, coming back to the story taking place on January 12^th; the Woodrows saw the fallen trees and panicked, however, they managed to pass under the trees without any scratches to their car.  It was so incredibly windy that when they tried to leave their car, the doors were almost ripped off by the strong gusts of mountain air.  After a little break from the strong gusts, they braved the wind and rain and went inside the building.  As usual, they checked in, went to their room, got settled, and then, an unusual knock on the door… 

Only on very rare occasions has this happened before, but dinner had to be cancelled that night.  The chef had to leave.  He had an emergency at home because of the inclement weather.  The only options were turkey or ham sandwiches at the Inn or to travel into town to find a restaurant that might be open. 

At the moment the news was being delivered to the Woodrows, Ms. Burns abruptly came out from room number 5 and exclaimed:

“What? No dinner! My Goodness!”

“I’m sorry for the inconvenience. I do apologize,” said the news bearer.

“I’m from Florida!  I’m from Florida!  It’s too cold for me to go out there and get some food!  I have to do something!”  Ms. Burns said before rushing downstairs.

Now, the Woodrows were in real panic mode.  The reason they came this particular night was not for a celebration, but for that night’s menu… Crab cakes and shrimp, with creole sauce…yummy!

“What are we going to do now, Sweetie?”  Mrs. Woodrow asked.

“I don’t know, Hon!” her husband answered.  “It’s too windy out there to go and have dinner somewhere else.  Oh, I guess we could go someplace in Gatlinburg; it’s not too far of a drive.    

“Yeah, I know.  But I think it’s too risky, Richard.  Don’t you think? she added.  Let’s go downstairs and see what they baked.  Plus, we brought some dried fruit, mandarins and wine.  We’ll be fine.”                          

Downstairs they went. 

“Brownies!  Chocolate brownies!” Hon, we’re saved.  “We won’t starve tonight!”  Mrs. Woodrow joked.

No wonder Joanna likes this lady… same insanity about sweet treats.

“Hon, let’s take a couple of brownies and some tea back to the room and then take a little nap.  This cold windy weather is perfect for it,” Mr. Woodrow suggested.

“I like that idea,” she added.

“And as for dinner we’ll just get a turkey sandwich,” he suggested.

“Sounds like a good plan,” she said.

And upstairs they went.

After devouring the brownies they took a nap.  It wasn’t until after 6:00 pm that they woke up.  The wind was blowing and whistling.  Power was running on generators and the room wasn’t feeling that warm.

“Let’s go downstairs and get that sandwich, then come back to the room and have some dinner before it gets too late,” suggested Mr. Woodrow.

So downstairs they went.

They saw other guests in the dining room and engaged in nice conversation with them.  Some of the other guests were going to brave the weather and go out for dinner.  Others, just like the Woodrows, decided to survive on turkey and ham sandwiches. 

Just when they thought their dinner was going to be a boring turkey sandwich, sweet Agatha, with her deep and soothing voice came to the rescue and provided them with some soup prepared by the chef before he had to leave to take care of his emergency. 

That’s why this place is our forever eternity.  It’s not only about the beauty of the views, but also the kindness you receive. 

Back upstairs they went. 

Dried figs, nuts, mandarins, turkey sandwich, soup and wine.  That was dinner.  A romantic winter dinner in room number 3.

“Cheers, my little gazelle!” she said.

“Cheers, my little munchkin!” he replied.

Of course, now, my wife calls me “my little sea otter, ‘Ottie’ for short or when she’s mad at me.”  Frigging women!  They love that stuff.  Don’t they?  So I call her “my little bee.” 

This couple reminds us so much of ourselves when we started coming to this place that we feel like we know them enough to make fun of them.  

It was still early but, after finishing dinner and a bottle of wine, they were very sleepy so they went to bed. 

Perfect time for the friendly ghosts to have a little fun around the premises.  Let’s make some noise.  Let’s whistle.  They can blame it on the wind tonight! Hahaha!

“What kind of noise is that?”  Mr. Woodrow asked.  “It sounds like an owl or some wild animal.”

“It’s just the wind!” her husband replied.  “Or maybe there are ghosts in here!  After all it’s an old building.  Things must have happened here.”

Uh-oh!  We got busted, we thought.  It wouldn’t be the first time, my wife said.

“Don’t talk about ghosts, Sweetie!  I’ll have nightmares all night!”  Mrs. Woodrow cried.

“I’m just joking, dear.  There are no ghosts here!  Let’s get some sleep.  Love you,” he said.

“Love you, too,” she replied.

That was a very close call, we thought, but the show must go on!  Let’s make some more noise and then let’s go around and give the other guests a little excitement, as well.  “Sounds like fun,” my wife agreed.  Only a few guests remained in the building, but the variety of those left was quite promising.  It was going to be another interesting night at the Buckhorn.  Gosh!  We love this place. 

Joanna headed downstairs to entertain the Smiths and I was going to take care of the ‘first timers’, newlyweds Mr. and Mrs. Cane.  However, after hearing some ‘newlywedding’ sounds, I decided to move on to room number 5.  Ms. Burns always asks for the same room and comes on the same date, every year.  And, she goes from one place to the other as fast as possible like she is being chased by the cold.  “I’m from Florida, I’m from Florida” seems to be her mantra.  She’s a very nice lady who seems to be in a hurry all the time. 

However, when I made it to room number 5, Ms. Burns wasn’t there.  I was planning on doing the traditional prank I do every time she comes, but that night she was gone.  Where might she be? 

As I was heading to room number 4…Boom!  A big loud thunder shook the building and then a sharp spooky scream was heard.  It seemed to be coming from downstairs.  I rushed through the walls to get there faster.  I ran into Joanna and I asked “What did you do?  Is it one of your pranks?”

“No!  It wasn’t me!  I was on my way to the cottages when I heard the scream!” she exclaimed. 

“I think it came from the main living area!”  I said. 

“I think it was too,” Joanna added.

By then, the guests that didn’t go out for dinner had already heard the noise and headed to the main living area.  Jo and I went there and ghostly witnessed what was developing. 

First to arrive were the Woodrows.

“Oh my God!”  Mrs. Woodrow cried.

“What! What!” her husband exclaimed.

 “The brownies are gone!” she replied.

“Are you serious?  Too bad!  Now you don’t need to sneak out of the room while I’m sleeping to grab some,” he said laughing.

Remember doing the same thing, Jo?  I ironically asked my wife.  And she just shushed me.

Then the Smiths came in and joined the Woodrows.

“What’s going on guys?  We heard a loud scream and it seemed to be coming from here,” said Mr. Smith.

“Darn!  The brownies are gone!” complained Mrs. Smith.

“Exact same thing my wife said,” joked Mr. Woodrow.

“Women!  They can’t control their sweet tooth instincts!” said Mr. Smith, and they all laughed.

“That scream…It must have been the wind!  We’ve heard funny noises tonight and my husband said it’s just the wind.  Even though, it sounds like wild animals to me!” added Mrs. Woodrow.

Joanna and I were just giggling in a corner of the room, by the piano.  I wanted to play a few notes on the piano to add some extra fun but Joanna wouldn’t let me do it this time.

“Like an owl, right?” asked Mrs. Smith.  “Maybe that was the scream!”

“Yeah!” added Mrs. Woodrow.  “Like a screech owl.  It was kind of spooky, wasn’t it? 

 “Sure!  So where are you guys from?” asked Mr. Woodrow.  By the way, I’m Richard and this is my wife Veronica.  Nice to meet you!

“Nice to meet you, too!  We’re the Smiths.  I’m Steve and this is Kate” said Mr. Smith.

“We’re from…Colorad…Oh, my God!  What is that!” cried Mrs. Smith with a nervous tone.

“What?  Where?” asked her husband.

“Behind the couch!  Behind the couch!”  Go check it out, Steve!”  Mrs. Smith said.

“Why me?” Steve quickly responded.

“Because you’re the only one wearing military paraphernalia!  So, go and serve your country and face the danger for the rest of us!”  Mrs. Smith commanded.

 “I’m a Thunderbird!  We took care of planes!  The space and the G forces are our grounds!”  Mr. Smith replied emphatically.

“I was wondering what the bird on your hat and jacket and…shirt meant!” said Mr.Woodrow.

“Oh!  That’s fascinating!  I love cartoons, as well.  But I’m more of a Thundercats fans myself!  Lion-O was my favorite of them all,” Mrs. Woodrow claimed.

“What!  Thundercats!  How can you not know who the Thunderbirds are!”  replied Mr. Smith clearly offended.  And you, Mister, didn’t you go to Nam and serve your country?

“No, no. I didn’t. I missed the call.”  Mr. Woodrow replied.

“So, they didn’t call you?”  Mr. Smith asked.

“Oh, no.  They did!  They called but I was out parking with Tiffany Parker!  So,

technically, I didn’t get the call.”  Mr. Woodrow said laughing.

“But he is a Boy Scout!  He went to Philmont in New Mexico with the Boy Scouts

when he was only 14 years old!”  Mrs. Woodrow proudly interrupted.

Joanna and I were laughing our butts off with this interaction.  The living can be incredibly entertaining without even knowing it.

“Stop the nonsense!  Somebody has to go behind the couch and find out whose hand that is!  And ‘that’ someone won’t be me!  Honey! You’re the higher ranking official in this room so, go!” commanded Mrs. Smith.  Plus, you’re the only one wearing manly clothes.

Until then, Mr. Woodrow hadn’t realized he was wearing his wife’s robe.

“What that heck!”  Mr. Woodrow cried.

“Don’t worry, dear.  You look great in purple!” Mrs. Woodrow assured her husband.

“It’s pink!” he objected.

“Stop it the two of you!” yelled Mrs. Smith.  “Steve!  Proceed now!”

When given an order, Thunderbirds fly and off they go.  So Mr. Smith ventured behind the couch and then whispered:  

“There is a dead body here!”

Everybody was in shock.  Nobody moved.  Joanna and I were confused as well.  How did we miss it?  This never happened here before.  We didn’t know what to do either.  It was a first time for all of us.

Is there a killer among us? Mrs. Smith asked.

“What are we going to do?” cried Mrs. Woodrow

     “Who is it?” asked Mr. Woodrow.

 “I don’t know.  I don’t know.  And I don’t know!  It’s an old woman and she’s not moving and she has a frozen look on her face, so I’m assuming she’s dead,” said Mr. Smith trying to answer all the questions.

“I know who she is!” exclaimed Mrs. Woodrow when reaching out to see.  “It’s the lady from Florida.  We saw her earlier.  She was rushing out of her room across from ours when we were told that dinner was cancelled.  Don’t you remember, Richard?”

“Oh, yeah.  I do!  She said she was freezing.  And now she’s frozen!” joked Mr. Woodrow.

“Yep!  Frozen.  Ice cube frozen!” said Mr. Smith while touching the body.

“We have to call the police!” suggested Mrs. Woodrow.

“Good idea!”  Honey, call 911!” said Mrs. Smith.

“Why me?!” protested her husband.

“Because you’re a Thunderbird!” everybody replied.

“So funny!  We have a serious situation here…” he was saying before being interrupted by his wife.

“Call!”

That’s a military wife for sure, I said to my wife as we kept watching the events unfolding without any intervention from our part.  This was a first time for us, too.

Mr. Smith called 911 and was transferred to the local Sheriff office.  There, he explained the whole situation to the officer in charge.  After hanging up he said: 

“They said that they are dealing with a terrible storm right now and they only have personnel for emergencies.”

“But this is an emergency!”  Mrs. Smith protested.

“If it ain’t alive, it can wait!  They’re dealing with the living first.  That’s what they told me.  They will come, probably tomorrow, if the weather permits.”  Mr. Smith explained.

“This is no good!  We have to do something!  They are going to think it was us!”  Mrs. Woodrow cried.

“She’s right!” added Mrs. Smith. “We’re the only ones here and your fingerprints are all over her, Steve!”

“Oh, shoot!  But, I didn’t do it!” exclaimed Mr. Smith while backing up.

 “This is nonsense!” said Mr. Woodrow.  “Nobody is going to put the blame on us!”

“We have to do something!  Just in case,” said Mrs. Smith.

“What are you saying, Kate?”  Mr. Smith asked.

“Let’s move the body and put her on the couch so it looks like she’s sleeping.  When the staff members come back tomorrow, they will find her and, in the meantime, the other guests that come here will think she’s sleeping!”  Mrs. Smith suggested.

This was getting weirder and funnier by the minute.  It was always Joanna and I playing all the pranks, but now it wasn’t us at all.  We were mere spectators.

“You’ve been watching too many crime TV shows, Kate!” Mr. Smith said.

“No. No. No. She’s right!  We have to do something!” Mrs. Woodrow said.  “And we better hurry up because the other guests are going to be here any minute now and we don’t have any explanation for this crime, do we?”

“This is ridiculous!” cried Mr. Woodrow. “You’re all losing your minds!”

“But my fingerprints are on the dead body!” worried Mr. Smith.

“We’ll explain everything to the police tomorrow!  I’m going back to my room!” said Mr. Woodrow while attempting to leave.

“Don’t you dare to leave us here alone with a dead body!  We’re all in this together!” said Mrs. Smith with a very intimidating look.

“Don’t talk to my husband like that!” replied Mrs. Woodrow angrily.

“My husband was a Thunderbird!” yelled Mrs. Smith.

“And my husband was a Boy Scout!” shouted back Mrs. Woodrow.

This couldn’t get any better as Joanna and I were in the first row watching the show. 

“Calm down Thundercats!  Calm down.  We need to come up with solutions here,” said Mr. Woodrow.

“Oh no!  I hear some cars parking!  It must be the other guests coming back from town!  Stop talking and let’s get the body situated on the couch!”  Mrs. Smith said.

Nobody was moving.  It was like they couldn’t react to the situation.

“Now!” commanded Mrs. Smith.  Steve, you and I will grab her from the arms and you two – pointing to the Woodrows – grab her from her legs.”

So they did.  They tried to lay the body down on the couch, but she was so stiff that she wouldn’t fit.

“Let’s put her in a seated position. Hurry! They’re coming!” cried Mrs. Woodrow.

So they did.  They placed her in a seated position; put a blanket on her lap and off they went and disappeared into the night.

It’s so good to be ghosts, isn’t it?  Joanna and I were laughing our lungs out and planned to go to bed thinking that that was all the excitement we were going to have for the night.  But, oh boy!  We were wrong.  The guests that were coming back from dinner were the Jacksons or, as my wife calls them, the Jackson 5.  They are five siblings that come to the Buckhorn once a year for a get together to catch up and drink up.  Their names:  Marie, Sofia, Jessica, Pete and Donnie.

“What a fun night out guys!” Pete said while they were all headed to the main living area.

“So much f-f-fun,” stammered Donnie.

“It seems that Donnie had too much f-f-fun,” mocked Marie.

“He wouldn’t stop downing the tequila! I only had 5 shots.  That’s my quota,” added Jessica.

“5 after 5!” joked Sofia.

“Okay. Okay!  We’re all wasted, guys!  But it was all fun!  Let’s go down and chill a bit before going back upstairs.  It’s been so nice to see y’all again.  All my siblings!”  Donnie emotionally said.

“Sorry, guys.  I’m ready for bed.  See ya tomorrow!” said Jessica. “The 5 tequilas are screaming like Mariachis in my head.  Love y’all.  Nite!”

“I’m calling it quits, too guys.  Nite, Nite!”  Sofia said.

“Me too.  I have a long flight back home tomorrow.  See ya in the morning!” said Pete.

“Come on, you guys!”  Donnie pleaded. 

“I’ll join you for a few minutes, Don.  I’d like to get a couple of brownies before bed.”  Marie said.

“That’s my favorite sis…”  Donnie was saying while entering the room.  “What the heck!  Where are the brownies!”

“Shhh… Donnie!” Marie whispered. “The lady over there is resting.”

“But I need to get some brownies!  I promised my wife to bring some brownies for her.  She’ll kill me if I go back home empty handed!”  Donnie cried.

“Keep it quiet!”  Marie insisted.

“The lady over there must know about the brownies.  I’m going to ask her,” insisted Donnie.

“Don!” Marie whispered upset..

“Miss?  Miss?  Miss!”  Donnie said getting louder each time.

Nothing happened.

“Don’t bother her, Don,” Marie begged.

“I need those darn brownies!  Alice will send me to sleep with the dog again if I don’t take her some!”  Donnie insisted.

“We’ll get them tomorrow” his sister pleaded.  “Leave the lady alone.  Be polite!”

“Okay. Okay.  I’ll be polite…Ma’am? Ma’am! he called, while poking her shoulder. “This is one hell of a stiff woman!”

“Stop poking her shoulder, Don!  And what do you mean by stiff?” she asked.  “Is she alright?”

“I don’t know!  She’s just stiff!” Donnie was just saying that when, all of a sudden, the frozen lady fell off the couch.

“Oh, my God, Donnie!  What have you done?”  Marie asked terrified.

“I didn’t do anything!” he objected.  “She just fell.”

Marie, then, went to help the lady out and exclaimed:

“Oh my Goodness, Don!  I think she’s dead… you killed her, Don.  She’s dead!  I told you not to poke her!”

“She was already frozen!  I didn’t kill her!  She can’t be dead.  She must be a hard sleeper.  That’s all!”  Donnie protested.

“We need to call the police!”  Marie suggested.

“No. No. No. No cops! Look at us!  We’re too drunk!”  Donnie pleaded.  “They are going to think that we killed her and just don’t remember!”

“But who did it?  Who killed her?” Marie asked intrigued.

“I don’t know.  Is there a butler here?”  Donnie asked.

“No. I don’t think so.  Shoot!  Nobody to put the blame on!” she disappointedly replied.

“The chef!  The chef did it!”  Donnie exclaimed. “It was him!”

“He had an ‘emergency’ and had to leave!  That’s very suspicious!”  Marie assisted.

“He must be in Mexico by now!”  Donnie concluded.  “And they are going to blame us!”

And here we go again!  The night was far from over.  Let’s see what these 2 Jacksons come up with now.

“We can’t leave her here!  We gotta take her somewhere else!”  Donnie cried.

“Why?  What are you talking about?”  Marie asked.

“We can’t leave her here because Jessica, Pete and Sofia saw us coming here!”  Donnie responded. “And the police will ask who the last ones in this room were!  Think, Mare…Think!”

“You’re drunk, but you’re right!  What do we do now?” she asked.

“I don’t know!  All I know is that Alice will kill me twice if I don’t show up with brownies and also get arrested!  You know how she is, Mare!”  Donnie said desperately.

“Let’s take her to the Library!  Nobody is there!  Most of the guests right now are from Florida and over there they don’t read books!”  Marie said.Don’t they?” asked Donnie.

“No, they don’t.  Books were banned there after they read that Mickey wanted to be Minnie.  So they just don’t go to the library to read anymore!” Marie replied.

“That’s a good idea!  Let’s take her to the library and maybe when she starts to stink, they’ll find her.  And we’ll be long gone by then!”  Donnie said.

Joanna and I were crying out of laughter when we saw the 2 Jacksons grabbing Mrs. Burns to take her to the library.  They sat her down on the big couch, put the blanket on her lap, accommodated her head and, as a final touch, Donnie decided to put a book in her hands and some reading glasses he found in the room just in case somebody from a liberal state decided to come into the library and read a book.  As they were ready to leave, they heard a sound that broke the silence of the room.

“Did you hear that, Don?”  Marie asked.

“Yes, I did.”  Donnie replied.

“Did she just pass gas?  Oh, my goodness!  She must’ve been dead for a while because she started to stink really bad already!”  Marie cried.

“Show some respect, Mare!  It was her last breath!  Let’s get out of here before someone else comes!”

Off they went and the calmness came back upon our beloved Buckhorn Inn where the unusual adventures had taken place that night.  But the questions remain answered: 

Who dunnit? 

What happened to Mrs. Burns? 

Who ate the brownies? 

Were any of the guests involved other than the crazy ones that moved Mrs. Burns around the place? 

The following morning, the light of the new day came through the windows on room number 3 and Mr. Woodrow said to his wife when they woke up:

“The chef must be back.  I’ve been smelling food for the past half hour!  Yummy!  Can’t wait for breakfast!  I hope they serve Eggs Benedict today.”

“Is that all you’re thinking about!  Don’t you remember last night?  The dead body!”  Mrs. Woodrow asked upset.

“Of course I do, but my brain works better with food in my belly!  Let’s get up and get some food!” he added.

Things weren’t much difference in the rooms of the Smiths and the 2 Jacksons.  Joanna and I were excited to find out how things were going to be revealed for this winter’s Smoky Mountains horror/humor story. 

The Woodrows managed to grab a window table.  And yes, Eggs Benedict were on the menu.  This time, the Eggs Benedict were made using the crab cakes from the cancelled dinner. Wow!    

“This breakfast is so good.  It’s orgasmic!”  Mr. Woodrow said passionately eating.

“Don’t say that here, Sweetie…but you’re right!  So good!”  Mrs. Woodrow added.  “It’s just that I can’t stop thinking about…you know…”

 

“Shhh.  Don’t say a word.  The Smiths are coming” he warned his wife.

The Smiths entered the dining room and sat by the fireplace.  No words.  Just food. 

As for the 2 Jacksons, they quietly joined the other 3 Jacksons and had breakfast.  Donnie inquired about brownies only to be told they were all gone!  Dog house it is! 

It was a sunny and bright day outside.  The view of the mountains was as majestic as ever.  The smell of the cooking taking place filled everybody’s souls.  However, an odd silence was reigning in the dining room only broken by some morning chatting at the Jacksons table. 

Suddenly, there was some noise coming from the library.  Nobody reacted to that, except for Donnie and Marie who just remained with their heads down eating their breakfast and pretending to be part of the conversation with their siblings.  Maybe,   somebody smelled something and went to the library and found the dead body.  Maybe, the police were already there.  They didn’t know and their hearts were pounding harder and faster. 

And then, my dear readers, there she was!  Mrs. Burns was coming out of the library, holding a book in her right hand and fixing her hair with the other.  Was this a vision from the afterworld?

“Am I late for breakfast?  The delicious smell woke me up!  Eggs Benedict today?” she asked Agatha while getting situated at a table.  “This is so funny!  I don’t know why I woke up in the library.  In the library!  I can’t explain it!  I just remember going downstairs, eating the brownies that were left on the counter as my dinner and then I woke up in the library with a book in my hands!  Isn’t that weird?

Agatha just shrugged her shoulders and said, “I’m glad you’re enjoying your stay with us!”

The Smiths, the Woodrows and the 2 Jacksons were speechless.  They didn’t know whether to feel relieved or embarrassed.   Jo and I were just enjoying ourselves on how things unfolded.

“That’s all you remember, Lady?” asked Donnie trying to make sure she didn’t remember them.

“Shhh!”  Marie whispered.

“Yes! Well…!” she said trying to remember some extra events from the previous night.

And everybody involved in the crazy adventure stopped breathing waiting for her answer.

“I do remember that I was so cold.  Maybe all the brownies I ate put me to sleep. What I don’t understand is why I woke up in the library and with a book in my hands. I’m from Florida!  We don’t read books over there!  We’d rather play pickle-ball, eat shrimp and complain about knee arthritis!” she added laughing.

“I’m cold!  Can I get some strong coffee to start my new day, please?” she asked to the smiling girl serving the tables minding her business as usua

And that, my dear friends, was a crazy winter storm story at the Buckhorn Inn in the beautiful Smoky Mountains of Gatlinburg, Tennessee.  A place where eternal memories are created. 

And as for Donnie, he didn’t have to share the house with the dog this time.  Agatha came to the rescue and gave him a couple of fresh baked brownies to take to his wife. 

However, we never found out who screamed that night, didn’t we?  Which leaves the questions open: “Who dunnit?  Who screamed? And why?

The End (or is it ?)